Using a decision matrix

A decision matrix is like a pro-con list that embraces nuance and complexity. It accepts the fact that hard decisions are hard because they are multi-faceted; we care about many things, but not all equally. They force you to be honest with yourself about what is important to you, and so provide a wonderful opportunity for self-exploration.

For this exercise, I will be analyze the classic song “Should I Stay or Should I Go” by the Clash. But instead of trying to foist the decision on our partner, as Mr. Strummer does by insisting that they “have got to let him know” what to do, we’ll be using the decision matrix to make our own decision, and hopefully we’ll be more definitive for it. To expand the our suite of options beyond simply staying and going, I’ve taken the liberty of adding a third option which–while not specifically mentioned in the song–I feel is clearly in the subtext: Just saying screw it all, and baking a pie.

Here’s a file you can use. Open and save it to your local device. Decision Matrix.xlsx

A decision matrix has the following components:

• Options, which are arrayed across the top: “Stay”, “Go”, and “Bake a Pie” in this case. Note, you can have as many of these as you want. For example colleges in the case of my daughter, or jobs or book publishers. It can be anything.
• Considerations. These are listed on the left side of the matrix. These are thing that matter to you. For example, peace of mind, truth, justice, and the American way. Whatever. These should be stated positively. For example. if you want to take “not being hungry into consideration,” it should be stated as “Satisfies hunger” not “I don’t like being hungry.” You can have as many considerations as you wish, just remember not to keep anything “hidden” because if you do, you’ll wonder why your decisions “don’t feel right” later.
• Weight, which indicates on a scale of 1-5 how important each consideration is. It is very important not to over inflate or lower the weight of a considerations do to social pressure. If you given in, your decisions won’t feel right.
• Base score, how much a given option satisfies one of your considerations.
• Weighted score, the base score X the weight.
• Total, what is the total score each option presents. The higher the better.

Let’s get started. (my comments in [square brackets])

Darling, you got to let me know

Should I stay or should I go? [Options: Stay, Go, and Bake Pie (this last one is mine)]
If you say that you are mine [Consideration: Commitment]
I’ll be here ’til the end of time [Consideration: Relationship Duration]

So you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?

It’s always tease, tease, tease
You’re happy when I’m on my knees [Consideration: Feeling of self-worth]
One day is fine and next is black [Consideration: Predictability]
So if you want me off your back

Well, come on and let me know
Should I stay or should I go?

Should I stay or should I go now?
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble [Consideration: Trouble avoidance]
And if I stay it will be double [Scoring: Note that staying will avoid half as much trouble as going]
So come on and let me know

This indecision’s bugging me [Consideration: Finality]
If you don’t want me, set me free
Exactly whom am I supposed to be? [Consideration: Sense of self]
Don’t you know which clothes even fit me? [Consideration: Fashion]

The rest of the song has been removed as Joe just sort of spins off into an indecision spiral which, by his own admission, was already killing him. So, instead let’s move on with our decision matrix.

You will see that I’ve listed all the considerations and have stated them positively. I’ve also thrown in “satisfies hunger” just to make sure the pie gets some attention.

I also took a guess at the relative importance of each based on where and how often these considerations show up in the song. Now I have the following:

Weight	Consideration
5	Feels like a solid commitment
4	Enhances feeling of self-worth
3	Relationship Duration
3	Satisfies Hunger
2	Is Predictable
2	Avoids Trouble
1	Is Final
1	Is Fashionable

Now all we have to do is consider how well each of the options (Staying, Going, or Baking a Pie) is likely to satisfy each of our considerations on a scale of 1-5. Note that I have left notes on the scale to the far right for posterity.

I will not bore you with the details as you can see them in the sheet, but as a few examples:

“Feels like a solid commitment”, Weight 5:

• Staying
  • Base Score: 5 (Staying shows commitment)
  • Weighted Score: 25
• Going
  • Base Score: 1 (Going does not show commitment)
  • Weighted Score: 5
• Baking a Pie
  • Base Score: 3 (Baking a pie is a bit of a commitment, but not like marriage sort of commitment)
  • Weighted Score: 15

“Enhances feeling of self-worth”, Weight 4:

• Staying
  • Base Score: 2 (She’s happy when he’s on his knees. Not a good look)
  • Weighted Score: 8
• Going
  • Base Score: 4 (It’s assertive but, if we’re being honest, some of his self worth comes from the fact that she would be with him in the first place.)
  • Weighted Score: 16
• Baking a Pie
  • Base Score: 3 (Joe makes a pretty mean pie)
  • Weighted Score: 12

So, after two rounds of scoring:

• Staying: 33
• Pie: 27
• Going 21

If we continue on this way we end up with:

• Pie: 70 <–WINNER!!!
• Staying: 58
• Going 50

So Joe Strummer would best be served by simply stuffing a pie in his pie-hole and stop obsessing his girlfriend. If this outcome does not feel right. The chances are either that there is a hidden consideration, the weights he has assigned are wrong, or he is overly/underly optimistic about how one of the options will play out. If I were to guess, he’s probably a bit scared his girlfriend will see his work and give him flack about it.

I hope this was useful. Let me know if you have any questions.